


Gays United™

by wisewolf



Category: Mean Girls - Richmond/Benjamin/Fey
Genre: Fluff and Humor, Multi, Nonbinary Janis Sarkisian, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Burn, Texting, Trans Aaron Samuels, bc why not, they go by JJ in this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:21:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27527566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wisewolf/pseuds/wisewolf
Summary: pretty-in-pinkmentioned you in a post“If anyone’s wondering what it’s like to be best friends with@corvid, I woke up this morning to several messages sent to me between midnight and 5am:corvid Today at 1:03 ami think ive ascended to another plane of existencecorvid Today at 2:35 ammy hand is doing the anxiety tingle it likes to docorvid Today at 2:46 ammy medication is making me philosophicalcorvid Today at 4:54 amit’s 5am and guess whos awaaaaaaaaaakrits me”(or, the texting fic where the gang is spread across the US and became close internet friends)
Relationships: Cady Heron/Aaron Samuels, Karen Smith/Gretchen Wieners, Regina George/Janis Sarkisian
Comments: 10
Kudos: 30





	Gays United™

**Author's Note:**

> so. hi. it's been awhile, friends lmao.
> 
> my explanation is that i'm,,,,, very very busy. i'm a sophomore in college and this quarter has just begun to ramp up, so i've not had a lot of time for writing these days? sorry about that. after mid-december i should be back somewhat, but then i'll be back in school within a few weeks, so who knows
> 
> on a whim, i decided to start writing a texting fic? i was bored and it seemed easy and low energy, and honestly it's kind of great as a warm up exercise for writing? and it's good for characterization? highly recommend, even if you don't post it
> 
> anyways~ everyone's names will be in the end notes so you don't have to be confused
> 
> enjoy!

**pretty-in-pink** mentioned you in a post

“If anyone’s wondering what it’s like to be best friends with @corvid, I woke up this morning to several messages sent to me between midnight and 5am:

corvid Today at 1:03 am

i think ive ascended to another plane of existence

corvid Today at 2:35 am

my hand is doing the anxiety tingle it likes to do

corvid Today at 2:46 am

my medication is making me philosophical

corvid Today at 4:54 am

it’s 5am and guess whos awaaaaaaaaaakr

its me”

*******

**@prettyinpink**

aka regigigas

**corvid** _Today at 5:04 pm_

did you really just put me on blast on your tumblr

**prettyinpink** _Today at 5:04 pm_

Did you really just wake up after staying up till 6am?

**corvid** _Today at 5:05 pm_

stfu i didnt realize taking my pill at 6 would keep me up for twelve hours

you know i dont fucking know anything

**prettyinpink** _Today at 5:06 pm_

Yet you declared yourself a god the one time you guessed someone’s moon sign correctly based on their Vibes™

**corvid** _Today at 5:06 pm_

THAT IS ONE OF MY CROWNING ACHIEVEMENTS

**prettyinpink** _Today at 5:06 pm_

Not the fact that you have several thousand followers across several platforms

**corvid** _Today at 5:06 pm_

being a tumblr funnyman is not a crowning achievement

its like that post thats going around about people not getting a big head about being in the window seat of the clown car

and tbh my instagram and twitter followers dont feel real its such a Big Number™ i cant fucking

comprehend it 

**prettyinpink** started a call that lasted a few seconds. _Today at 5:06 pm_

**corvid** _Today at 5:06 pm_

fucking hello?

**prettyinpink** _Today at 5:07 pm_

SAHDAJSLADSHAKDHA I DROPPED MY PHONE ON MY FUCKING FACE

OW

**corvid** _Today at 5:07 pm_

youre such a fucking idiot i love you

**prettyinpink** _Today at 5:07 pm_

Now my nose hurts

**corvid** _Today at 5:07 pm_

awwww do you want me to kiss it better

**prettyinpink** _Today at 5:07 pm_

You gonna do that all the way from philly?

**corvid** _Today at 5:07 pm_

if thats what it takes to get you to stop fucking complaining

**Gays United™**

#gay-screaming

**regigigas** _Today at 5:08 pm_

JJ is bullying me

**karebear** _Today at 5:08pm_

:surprised_pika:

**bottom bitch** _Today at 5:09 pm_

last i saw u were bullying them on ur tumblr for going on a meth bender

so its prob valid bullying

also gfdi who changed my nickname again

**goth ihop** _Today at 5:09 pm_

first of all

its not meth

**bottom bitch** _Today at 5:09 pm_

adhd meds r just regulated meth dumbass weve been over this

**goth ihop** _Today at 5:10 pm_

second of all

im not bulling her i just said she complains too much

bullying*

**regigigas** _Today at 5:10 pm_

Bulling

 **bottom bitch** _Today at 5:10 pm_

bulling

**karebear** _Today at 5:10 pm_

bulling

**goth ihop** _Today at 5:11 pm_

friendship ended with regina damian and karen

cadys my new best friend

@cubby

**regigigas** _Today at 5:11 pm_

Don’t bother her, she’s actually being productive rn

**goth ihop** _Today at 5:11 pm_

tf is she doing

**cubby** _Today at 5:12 pm_

I’m doing college apps!

**goth ihop** _Today at 5:12 pm_

IT IS SEPTEMBER CUBBY

S E P T E M B E R

**cubby** _Today at 5:12 pm_

I’m applying to some UC schools and their apps are due Nov 30 :///

**goth ihop** _Today at 5:12 pm_

sounds like a nov 29 problem js

**regigigas** _Today at 5:12 pm_

You’re literally planning on applying to NYU and the early decision deadline is November 1st

**goth ihop** _Today at 5:12 pm_

sounds like an oct 30 problem

not a halloween problem my dad promised we could drink hard cider and watch horror movies all day this year

**cubby** _Today at 5:12 pm_

Please drink responsibly, JJ!

**goth ihop** _Today at 5:13 pm_

yeah yeah ill be careful

**regigigas** _Today at 5:13 pm_

I swear to God if you excessively drunk snap me again I will block you

No hesitation

**goth ihop** _Today at 5:13pm_

THAT WAS ONE TIME

**regigigas** _Today at 5:13pm_

IT’S HAPPENED FOUR TIMES JJ.

FOUR.

ONE OF THOSE TIMES WAS CHRISTMAS EVENING WHEN YOU GOT CHAMPAGNE DRUNK AT DINNER AND WERE SNAPPING ME INCESSANTLY.

AND WHEN I DIDN’T RESPOND.

YOU **_CALLED ME._ **

**karebear** _Today at 5:14 pm_

oh jeez

**regigigas** _Today at 5:15 pm_

I HAD TO AWKWARDLY EXCUSE MYSELF FROM MY **_OWN_ ** CHRISTMAS DINNER WITH MY **_FAMILY_ ** TO CONSOLE YOU BECAUSE YOU WERE **_CRYING PROFUSELY_ ** ABOUT HOW YOU THOUGHT I DIDN’T LOVE YOU BECAUSE I WASN’T OPENING YOUR SNAPS.

**bottom bitch** _Today at 5:15 pm_

_whistles innocently as i file this information away for future blackmail_

**goth ihop** _Today at 5:16 pm_

I GET EMOTIONAL WHEN IM DRUNK OKAY

I CANT HELP MY EMOTIONS

**regigigas** _Today at 5:16 pm_

What would you have done if I hadn’t answered

**goth ihop** _Today at 5:16 pm_

probably cried more and then posted on tumblr that i was taking apps for new best friends

**cubby** _Today at 5:16 pm_

Lord, you’re dramatic.

Also I’m muting y’all until I’ve made significant progress on these personal insight questions, so.

Goodbye!

**karebear** _Today at 5:17 pm_

bye cady!

**regigigas** _Today at 5:17 pm_

See ya

**bottom bitch** _Today at 5:17 pm_

bye cubby gl

**goth ihop** _Today at 5:17 pm_

what if i go back to sleep until tomorrow morning

**regigigas** _Today at 5:18 pm_

Jesus fucking Christ

*******

**Gays United™**

#gay-screaming

**bottom bitch** _Today at 5:45 pm_

i forgot to change my fucking nickname

**dame hubbard** _Today at 5:45 pm_

there thats better

**goth ihop** _Today at 5:45 pm_

unoriginal

thats just your fucking name

**dame hubbard** _Today at 5:45 pm_

no its like im a Lady™

like Dame Judy Dench

**goth ihop** _Today at 5:46 pm_

...wouldnt you be dame damian hubbard then

**dame hubbard** _Today at 5:46 pm_

its a pun u uncultured fuck

ur nickname is just a fucking tiktok meme

**goth ihop** _Today at 5:46 pm_

what do you suggest i make my nickname then O Powerful Funnyman™

**regigigas** _Today at 5:47 pm_

could go with the tried and true pokemon pun  
  


**goth ihop** _Today at 5:47 pm_

im not a fucking pokemon nerd like you are regina

smh 

im cultured

**regigigas** _Today at 5:47 pm_

You’re calling me uncultured?

You read Homestuck

**goth ihop** _Today at 5:48 pm_

WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO COME BACK TO MY HOMESTUCK PHASE

ITS OVER NOW

**dame hubbard** _Today at 5:48 pm_

didnt they give rose and kanaya a happy ending wedding or smth

did i dream that

**goth ihop** _Today at 5:48 pm_

THEY DID AND IT WAS A SOLID WIN FOR THE GAYS

**regigigas** _Today at 5:48 pm_

I feel like my point was just proven

**goth ihop** _Today at 5:48 pm_

and i still dont have a new nickname @dame hubbard smh

**dame hubbard** _Today at 5:50 pm_

IM THINKING U WHORE

**regigigas** _Today at 5:50 pm_

_Jeopardy theme music_

**dame hubbard** _Today at 5:50 pm_

oh shut up u fucking elle woods wannabe

**regigigas** _Today at 5:51 pm_

…

JJ give me kicking power I’m about to punt Damian

**karebear** _Today at 5:51 pm_

:MJ_popcorn:

**goth ihop** _Today at 5:52 pm_

NO HE NEEDS TO GIVE ME A NEW NAME BECAUSE APPARENTLY GOTH IHOP ISNT FITTING

**sk8r boi** _Today at 5:52 pm_

What the fresh hell is going on in here?

**regigigas** _Today at 5:52 pm_

About time you graced us with your presence Aaron

**sk8r boi** _Today at 5:52 pm_

Not my fault you guys text while I’m in class.

**regigigas** _Today at 5:52 pm_

It is 6pm?????

**sk8r boi** _Today at 5:53 pm_

2:53pm in California.

Checkmate, Reggie.

**regigigas** _Today at 5:53 pm_

Can I kick him?

Let me kick him JJ

Give me the power

**goth ihop** _Today at 5:54 pm_

fuck you youre a bully why would i give you kicking power

i should kick you for being a bitch

**regigigas** _Today at 5:54 pm_

:pleading_face:

**goth ihop** _Today at 5:54 pm_

dont make the pouty face at me bitch

dont do it

**regigigas** _Today at 5:55 pm_

[selfie.png]

[ID: A selfie of Regina pouting at the camera. Regina is a dark blonde girl with tan skin and blue eyes, freckles spread across the bridge of her nose and the apples of her cheeks. Her bottom lip is jutting out and her eyebrows are drawn together in an exaggerated pleading face.]

**goth ihop** _Today at 5:55 pm_

FUCKING FINE I WONT KICK YOU

jesus 

**dame hubbard** _Today at 5:55 pm_

lol whipped

**goth ihop** _Today at 5:55 pm_

fcuk you

**karebear** _Today at 5:56 pm_

fcuk

**goth ihop** _Today at 5:56 pm_

im leaving

oh gdi i cant leave i own the server

smite me

god

im waiting

if ever there was a time to smite me for being queer now would be it

**sk8r boi** _Today at 5:57 pm_

Maybe your new nickname should be Drama King.

**Jeeves** _Today at 5:57 pm_

 **a-a-ron#0508** has been yeeted. Bye Sister.

**regigigas** _Today at 5:58 pm_

The prophecy has been fulfilled

*******

**Gays United™**

#gay-screaming

**dame hubbard** _Today at 8:32 pm_

@goth ihop

ur new nickname is meth addict bc its what u r

**goth ihop** _Today at 8:35 pm_

YOU DO SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE METH ONCE AT 6PM AND PULL AN ALL NIGHTER AND SUDDENLY YOURE AN ADDICT

fine

**meth addict** _Today at 8:36 pm_

how do i look

**dame hubbard** _Today at 8:36 pm_

perf

**worker bee** _Today at 8:40 pm_

I mute the server for a day to spend time with my grandparents and I come back to JJ doing meth and Aaron getting kicked?????

**meth addict** _Today at 8:41 pm_

oh shi-

fuck i gotta invite him back

its been hours

fuck hold on

**Jeeves** _Today at 8:45 pm_

Hey **@a-a-ron** , welcome to Hell!

**meth addict** _Today at 8:46 pm_

welc

**cady’s #1 simp** _Today at 8:46 pm_

So I’m finally allowed back?

…

Why is my name this.

Who did it.

JJ I’ll kill you.

**meth addict** _Today at 8:46 pm_

fine ill change it back

buzzkill

**sk8r boi** _Today at 8:47 pm_

Thank you.

**meth addict** _Today at 8:48 pm_

your secret is safe with indifference

**sk8r boi** _Today at 8:48 pm_

You’re not allowed to quote Critical Role at me.

Also you’re not indifferent at all, you’re very invested in it.

**meth addict** _Today at 8:49 pm_

yeah well

**cubby** _Today at 8:50 pm_

Aaron has a secret?

**sk8r boi** _Today at 8:50 pm_

It’s nothing, Cady.

**cubby** _Today at 8:50 pm_

But I wanna know. :pleading_face:

**meth addict** _Today at 8:51 pm_

youll understand when youre older

*******

**@a-a-ron**

**littlelionbaby** _Today at 8:52 pm_

Are you keeping something from me?

**a-a-ron** _Today at 8:52 pm_

Like I said, it’s nothing.

**littlelionbaby** _Today at 8:53 pm_

If it’s nothing why don’t you tell me what it is? And why does JJ know?

**a-a-ron** _Today at 8:53 pm_

It’s complicated.

And JJ only knows because they guessed what was going on.

**littlelionbaby** _Today at 8:54 pm_

Are you okay?

**a-a-ron** _Today at 8:54 pm_

I’m totally fine.

Perfect health.

Classes are going well.

By this time next year you and I will be taking over UC Davis.

**littlelionbaby** _Today at 8:55 pm_

If I get in.

**a-a-ron** _Today at 8:55 pm_

You will! I’m certain.

When you’re done with the personal insight questions you can send them to me and I’ll look them over, alright? And when we vc we can talk more about the application process if it’ll make you feel better.

**littlelionbaby** _Today at 8:56 pm_

:pleading_face:

I love you.

**a-a-ron** _Today at 8:56 pm_

I love you too, Cubby.

I have some work to do, so I’ll talk to you later.

**littlelionbaby** _Today at 8:57 pm_

Talk to you later!

**Author's Note:**

> pretty-in-pink: regina's tumblr  
> corvid: jj's tumblr/discord/instagram/twitter
> 
> Gays United(tm)  
> regigigas: regina  
> goth ihop/meth addict: jj  
> karebear: karen  
> bottom bitch/dame hubbard: damian  
> cubby: cady  
> sk8r boi/cady's #1 simp: aaron  
> so i hope y'all enjoyed that! idk when y'all should be expecting updates, but if you wanna see what i'm up to! toss me an ask @kingwisewolf and check on me, make sure i haven't been buried in readings! leave a comment and/or kudos if you enjoyed, and i'll see y'all next time i post!  
> worker bee: gretchen


End file.
